Health visitor song
Hmm, ah ha,....
How are you getting on with the cluster fuck of endless feeding? Chained to the sofa like a cake filled boated pig? Is the latch OK? Keep slapping the lanolin on endlessly, cracks are bad but but engorgement that’s a bitch.
How are your stitches, healing? Dead vagina walking? Any smelly discharge leaking from your wound? Still you should count yourself lucky, she didn’t come come out of the sky light, yeah pretty baby’s big scars
Are you holding in your wee OK? Have exercised your pelvic floor today? It’s worth avoiding a prolapse in your later life. And you could start to build a routine now, with just a little bit of know how you’ll have her sleeping, eating, shitting like a regular machine.
The good news is you can resume sexual activity, that’ll put that cheerful song back in dads step.
And on a scale of one to ten, how are you feeling in yourself?